My first marathon? I doubt

In another 7 hours I will travel to Singapore for my first ever marathon.

Well, I do not know whether this will be my first marathon. I do not have confidence to make it.

I am severely undertrained, and the worst is I think I am trapped in the binging cycle again.

My training was fine in the beginning, but it got changed after I was caught in illness 2 weeks before I departed to Denver.

Maybe Mr. Wan was true, I overtrained my body. Although the mileage was still considered low for many regular runners, but maybe someone big like me should not attempt to do beyond the designated big gal's fate.

I was sedentary for 2 weeks during the sickness, I missed the long run. I thought I could recover some lost fitness when I resumed training in a new and exciting place in Denver, but I was defeated by the weather and altitude. For 5 consecutive weekends, I only did one 21km run in Denver Marathon at the last weekend.

After the Denver Marathon, I felt I had accomplished something, my mind lost focus. In the 30K simulation training in Putrajaya the weekend after I returned to KL, I learned the comfort of walking.

Now I like to walk so much. I know I can run a little bit more, but I quickly settle to walking. It is just so... comfortable.

I don't have much spirit to run now. These days it rains a lot, what a good excuse. My work is also hectic recently, even more excuses. When I do not run, what do I do? I eat. And the volume is very big, which actually means I binge. I think I am on my way back to old lifestyle.

A person who trains for marathon usually lose weight, but I am on the other side. Seriously, I really do not know I can even run 20K now. I was huffing and puffing so deadly for a mere 3.5k easy jog last evening.

My initial target was to finish in 6 hours (and in my heart I secretly wished to finish closer to 5 hours, or even a sub-5!). Anyway now it would be a bless to just finish the course.

Let's see.